The Psychology of Human Relationships

It's NOT how MUCH you fight. It's HOW you fight that determines whether your relationship lives or dies.

A relationship is a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection). Any good enduring relationships don't magically happen u need to work it out.

You are in a healthy relationship if there is:


Mutual respect: Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other is and understands — and would never challenge — the other person's boundaries.

Trust: You need have confidence and faith on each other in a relationship. Many times you may even feel jealous about your partner, but just remember that jealousy is a natural emotion and it's OK to get a little jealous sometimes. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. There's no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don't trust each other.

Support: We all get into relationship because all of us feel that we need some kind of support from the other person. It's not just in bad times that your partner should support you. You need support and encouragement even in good times, which will help you to take things forward. A relationship can be healthy if you support each other mutually and stand by each other in all circumstances.

Fairness/equality. You need to have give-and-take in your relationship, too. All relationships call for compromises, but you and your partner need to have almost equal opportunities and rights to take certain decisions be it as small as deciding the movie you need to go or how to spend your time over the weekend. One person alone should never dictate it.

Separate identities: In a healthy relationship you will never feel that you have lost your identity. When you started going out, you both had your own lives (families, friends, interests, hobbies, etc.) and that shouldn't change. Neither of you should have to pretend to like something you don't, or give up seeing your friends, or drop out of activities you love. And you also should feel free to keep developing new talents or interests, making new friends, and moving forward.

Motive behind the relationship: You need to enter into a relationship only because you and your partner have mutual love and concern for each other. Only that will result in a healthy relationship. If there is a personal and a selfish motive behind it, the relationship cannot last long.

Humility: Forget your pride in a relationship. This in anyway doesn’t mean that you should compromise on your self-esteem; it only means that we must esteem each other. Be sensitive to each other’s needs.

Handling differences: Be open to communicate with each other to sort out the differences and get important message across each other. You need to be clear about what needs to be communicated and how it needs to be done even during times of disagreement.

Attentiveness: Pay attention while interacting with others. You need to be mentally, physically and emotionally present when you are interacting. This gives the feeling of acceptance for the other person.

If you feel that your relationship has these aspects……………you are definitely in a healthy relationship and don’t give it a second thought!!!!!

Building relationships:

You cannot build a relation over night. It needs to be worked upon and goes through different stages.

Ø Contact stage/Orientation stage: The first stage of building relation is the contact stage where people first meet start interacting. This stage helps in getting acquainted with each other and gets to know each other like, their interests, hobbies, family background etc. Thus the conversation is exploratory in nature.

Ø Exploratory stage: This is an attempt made to intensify the relationship. In this stage people exchange more private thoughts and feelings with each other. They tend to feel more relaxed and enjoy each other’s company. They are more expressive and less guarded while talking to each other and this helps them in building trust.

Ø Affective stage/ Intimate stage: This stage is typical of close friendships and romantic relationships. The intimacy increases in this stage, as they feel free to express themselves. In case of romantic relationships, the partners share a social bonding with commitment. They publicly announce about their relationship.

Ø Stable exchange: This stage is characterized by continuous openness. Because of the previous stages, they know each other well and can easily predict and interpret the other person’s feeling and behavior.



Have you ever wondered why some relationships built over years fail miserably?

Relationships often fail because of lack of alignment. We fail to identify what we really want out of the relationship and why we are in the relationship in the first place. A relationship is unhealthy when it involves mean, disrespectful, controlling, or abusive behavior.
The simple aspect is that when a person cannot love and respect oneself; cannot love any other person. Such people always depend on the other person for their happiness and well-being. As a result of this excessive dependence, the other person might feel that this relationship is more of a burden than joy. Such relationships tend to be a failure. Sometimes there are also chances that the person is so focused on self and their feelings that they fail to recognize the need and emotions of their partner. This also leads to failure in a relationship.

Stages of deteriorating relationship:

Any relationship that is built over years cannot be washed out in one day. Like how the building of relationship goes through several stages, even the deterioration also goes through several stages.

Ø The stage witnesses the weakening of the bond, which holds the two people together.
Ø Repair stage: After sensing the weakening of the bond the persons involved in the relationship tries to repair the relationship. At the repair stage you first engage in intrapersonal repair, analyzing what went wrong and perhaps what you can do to set things right; later you may engage in interpersonal repair, where you and your partner consider ways to mend your deteriorating relationships.
Ø Dissolution stage: In this stage you separate from your partner, as there is a failure to repair the dissatisfaction experienced in interpersonal relationship.

Please look out for the following warnings signs in your relationship. Take measures to set it right before it goes out of hand.

Your relationship is deteriorating if some of these signs are evident:
1. Your partner overlooks your virtues and constantly looks out for your negatives/weakness.
2. There is failure to arrive at compromise from either side.
3. You and your partner doubt each other’s action and behavior.
4. Your partner tries to control your thoughts and expression.
5. Your partner ignores and avoids conversing with you.


Why do we have to get into relationships?

Man is a social animal and we all crave for social contacts. Our mental wellness is very much dependent on the kind of relationships that we have with others and how satisfying those relationships are. Without relationships, lives seem empty and useless. With relationships, lives are more fun and enriching though might be stressful sometimes. The sad part is that today’s life is so fast paced that people are so engrossed in things like career, money and prosperity that maintaining relationships has gone down in the priority though its one of the most important things in life. By the time people realize that they need to mend the relationship it may be too late to do anything………

The beauty lies in managing your career and maintaining healthy relationship. You should work to strike the balance between the two. Never let go of your relationships because they have survival value and helps you in leading a fruitful life.